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Saturday - January 22, 2022
 

Change It Up

October 24th, 2012

Change It Up By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert When I was in Boston last week, I tried something new. While walking, and this sounds silly I know, I would stop and look up. People in windows, staircases, cranes, flashing tall lights, birds and squirrels, shoes, the moon, stars, planes, lanterns, animals in the clouds. When I have the fun of taking photos, I photograph a different perspective rather than only what is right in front of me with the object. In my morning support group of transitions, we made a list of what we are going to do differently this week: 1. Not start... Read More

Why Don\’t More Parents Talk About Empty Nest?

September 21st, 2012

Why Don\’t More Parents Talk About Empty Nest? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert This weekend kids are packing up and heading to college. Parents are shocked at the gut pain they are feeling, hugging goodbye. The “ugly cry” visits them at unpredictable times, like while marketing. Goodbye drops them into the reality that their parenting role will never be as it was before. They are kicked out of the kingdom with an unfamiliar role as parents. Parents are in the background, not leading, not seeing day to day, and not hearing the stories after school. It is... Read More

Saying Goodbye to Your College Bound Kids

September 15th, 2012

Saying Goodbye to Your College Bound Kids By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert In our parent group, I suggested each share what they will miss and what they look forward to when they aren\’t parents every day. I suggested they remember to allow different parts of them to speak, the confident one, the brave one, the sad one, the freedom one, etc. We forget we have so many parts within us when sadness grips. Tears are a great thing even though I have never met one person who likes to cry unless they are alone. Even alone, the beginning of tears feels the worst because you... Read More

Can You See The Bigger Picture?

August 5th, 2012

Can You See The Bigger Picture? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Parents are on the countdown to goodbyes. When you are going through a transition, it helps to focus on the grander image of why you are choosing what you are choosing. 1. Do you need more energy?2. Is it time to explore a change of behaviors or people in your life?3. Whether chosen or given, change happens, so what is possible now for you?4. Who can help you?5. How do you make decisions, quickly or over time?6. What are your gifts and your limitations?7. How do you comfort yourself?8. What fears pop up about... Read More

Father\’s Day

June 18th, 2012

Father\’s Day By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert None of these photos are my dad. They are my dad\’s imaginary best friends. I loved seeing him, just home from a match, club bag on arm and clicking sounding shoes, coming across the floor. Not his profession, his weekend obsession. If he wasn\’t in a game, as he grew frail, he and I would curl up, TV on high volume, cheering about something that I never did figure out, except when the white ball rolled on the green and into that circle. He wasn\’t into teaching. The match was his relaxation time.... Read More

Have You Had To Speak Up In A Difficult Situation?

June 4th, 2012

Have You Had To Speak Up In A Difficult Situation? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Did you speak up or let it be? A woman I worked with didn\’t think it was ok for her to share with her kids that she wanted what she wanted, which was to make her own choices about whether to travel or stay home. She used the words, wanted what she wanted because that was the unspoken truth. It is her choice and she forgot that thought. Yes, she heard all the reasons why she needed to go on a trip to “get out there” and yet she didn\’t think it was ok for them to... Read More

Leaving Behind What Was

April 18th, 2012

Leaving Behind What Was By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert A teacher shared with me years ago, “Confusion is great.” I frowned because that made no sense. Now it does. Confusion takes you out of routine and what you believe to be true. It is a choice to bring up courage and trust. You have heard me say it before, TRUST IS EARNED. You lose trust in yourself and others. Trust is not a given. You have more to lose than gain in the process of trusting because you can get hurt. Hurt is not the end. When you trust someone with private information and they tell... Read More

Silence Your Inner Critic . . . One Day at a Time

March 17th, 2012

Silence Your Inner Critic . . . One Day at a Time By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert You\’re bored. You get in your car. You\’re not sure where you want to go. You go to the same old places and do the same old things. You say to yourself, “nothing ever changes”. Recently, I asked some of my group members where they go and what they do to have a better day. Their responses included these places and activities: 1. Shopping for bargains 2. Looking at new cars 3. Visiting a garden shop 4. Walking on the beach 5. Adopting a pet 6. Going to a bookstore 7.... Read More

Changing Habits

March 15th, 2012

Changing Habits By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Many women tell me: “My habits seem to control me. My life is too predictable and boring.” Our daily lives are complex and we long for routine. The question is: “Are you happy?” We seem to forget that happiness is a real need and wanting to be happy is not something to feel guilty about. Here are some quick and simple things to try to break a habit: 1. During your day, pay attention to what lifts your energy and what depletes it. 2. Get outside every day for more than a walk to and from your car. 3.... Read More

A Deep Loss. And A Surprise

March 15th, 2012

A Deep Loss. And A Surprise By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Do you want the ending of the story or the beginning? Patience will give you the surprise ending that was greatly needed during loss. My cat, Sophie, who we adopted fourteen years ago, was still chatty and cuddly, until the Monday morning she suddenly died. I wept and wept. Home alone, I don\’t know where the movement in me came from, to swaddle her in a blanket, as I prepared to say goodbye. I know I was in shock, even though, I also knew she grew thinner and older weekly. Maybe, she was 91. I had... Read More