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Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for Boomer Women

December 29th, 2011

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for Boomer Women By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert During 2012, I resolve to: 10. Stop denying I dye my hair. No one believes me anyway and all that extra stress just turns more of it gray, which requires more frequent dying followed by more frequent lying … It’s a vicious circle. 9. Run screaming every time I see a pair of 4, 5, or 6-inch stiletto heels in a store window. These are not shoes; these are implements of destruction. I need to remember that whatever I might pay the store clerk for the shoes, I’ll pay triple to my chiropractor. 8.... Read More

Who Am I?

November 24th, 2011

The Miracles of Modern Technology By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert I applied for a credit card with a rate lower than my IQ the other day. I called the company, thinking that would be easier than filling out forms online because whenever I apply for something online I end up on the phone with someone eventually anyway, holding my now-dented mouse in one hand and blood pressure medication in the other. A nice man named Tom, who had a sweet southern drawl that caused my own latent Texas accent to come roaring back, led me through the process. Towards the end of our conversation,... Read More

The Miracles of Modern Technology

October 27th, 2011

The Miracles of Modern Technology By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert It seems as if there are new inventions almost every day using computer technology, from sunglasses that you can view movies on to watches that access the Internet. While these are fine ideas for people who are capable of walking and watching reruns on 30 Rock while listening to their iPod and reading the latest Stieg Larsson novel on their Kindle, I can’t even walk and talk without falling down. Nor can I see my SmartPhone without having to get out a pair of reading glasses. How smart can it be anyway? I... Read More

You Say Neanderthal Like It’s a Bad Thing!

July 27th, 2011

You Say Neanderthal Like It’s a Bad Thing! By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert Scientists recently reported that contrary to what was once believed, today’s humans almost all have a little Neanderthal in them. This is, I believe, the reason most of us eventually resort to plucking our eyebrows – we know deep down in our DNA that we won’t look good with a unibrow. (By the way, MS Word doesn’t think unibrow is a word, but you and I know better.) These high level genetic studies could have easily been avoided had someone just thought to interview either wives or interior... Read More

Things That Go Boom in the Night

July 6th, 2011

Things That Go Boom in the Night By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert The fireworks stands are up now and I can\’t wait… to strangle somebody. For the past week, we\’ve had fireworks going offat the schoolyard down the street and it\’s only the middle of June. If this doesn\’t stop, I\’m going to have to put on my bathrobe, put my hair in curlers, light a cigarette, and goscare me some young men. You know I\’m serious if I\’m willing to let a cigarette touch my lips! Yes, all the other boys are blowing their fingers off too, but that\’s... Read More

I’ve Been Slimed

May 26th, 2011

I’ve Been Slimed By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert According to a recent episode of The Doctors, it is possible to pay hundreds of dollars at a spa for a snail facial. That’s right, a snail facial, during which a white-coated technician places a few of the garden gastropods on your face where they slime their way from chin to cheekbone. Can you say, “Ick”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those “easily freaked out by mollusks” type of women. In fact, I have a pretty good relationship with both snails and slugs. I have to. I live in the Pacific Northwest;... Read More

Get Some Sleep, Will You?

May 13th, 2011

Get Some Sleep, Will You? By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert I have a theory that worrying about how to look young ages you. Last week, for example, I read an article on how to stay young-looking, and among the usual advice – eat well, exercise, don’t squint while reading articles on how to stay young-looking – was this tip, which has caused me to lose sleep for four days in a row : Don’t sleep on your side. You’ll add fine lines and wrinkles to that one side. Not only will you look older than if you sleep on your back, you’ll look lopsided. Oh, perfect! Now not... Read More

May Brings Us The Power of Maybe (And Some Funny Videos)

May 13th, 2011

May Brings Us The Power of Maybe (And Some Funny Videos) By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert There is power in “No.” No, I can’t bake 400 brownies for the class bake sale tomorrow. No, I won’t be able to stay late after work again because the computer ate that file. No, I’d prefer no to talk to you about changing my cell phone plan. There is also power in “Yes.” Yes, I would like to try that new chocolate dessert. Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I am game for boarding this spaceship, but only if you return me to earth in time for dinner because I’m... Read More

Unaccustomed to the Good Life

April 4th, 2011

Unaccustomed to the Good Life By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert A few months ago, I got invited to speak to a group of women at Canyon Ranch Spa in Tucson, Arizona. Unlike the wealthier women who frequent resorts, women who may have been born with fluffy white robes in their mouths, I am unaccustomed to the good life. I usually can’t even afford the good beer. I was totally out of my element so I spent the first day at “The Ranch” assessing the habits of … okay, stalking… a dozen or so women who appeared the most well-heeled (not to mention well-toed since most... Read More

Stressed Out Women, Here’s Your Sign

February 12th, 2011

Stressed Out Women, Here’s Your Sign By Leigh Anne Jasheway NABBW’s Boomer Humor Expert Sometimes it seems that “stressed-out” is a synonym for “female.” The inability to take a deep breath or live in the moment because we’re too busy rushing into the next one causes physical, mental, and emotional problems, but for some reason many women take pride in the fact that they never have time to relax. I’m surprised there’s not a Girl Scout badge for “Multi-tasking” by now. There are sure signs that you’ve let too much stress in the front door. For example, if your inner... Read More