Wednesday - December 1, 2021

Is Empty Nest Necessary?

October 13th, 2013

Is Empty Nest Necessary? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert In my group, sweet Susan said with a slight laugh, “Loss is necessary but is empty nest?” We were talking about the cumulative losses over our lifetimes. Susan was having a sad day. Her bottom line essentially boiled down to this, “I tried for months to get pregnant, then put up with enforced bed rest in order to stay pregnant, then once he got to age two I had to raise him by myself, etc.,  Yet no one told me loss is necessary and he will leave, and won’t put a thank-you note in my mailbox. Experts... Read More

Asking for Direction – a Spiritual Tool

October 3rd, 2013

Trina was in a quandary. Her 24-year-old son Justin was begging her to pay next semester’s college tuition, and she just didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, she was anxious for him to complete his degree and get a full-time job, especially since he still lived rent-free with his mom and dad. On the other hand, Justin never saved much of the money he made at his job and already owed his parents thousands of dollars in loans he had used to pay for a car, college, and so on. He always offered a re-payment plan, but his resolve always dwindled after a few months. One year earlier, Trina and... Read More

Learning to Let Go: The Key to Parenting Adult Children

October 3rd, 2013

“I’m totally devastated! I just found out my son Jeff’s wife Ella has been having an affair with a co-worker for the last year,” my friend Janet wept through the phone. “It seems like yesterday that we stood at the front of that church and gave our blessing on their marriage. She seemed just perfect. He was my baby so I finally felt free to live my own life – my husband and I even planned our second honeymoon for shortly after they came home from theirs. And then a few years later they had those precious little girls – I thought they would be happy forever. “And now this – I’m... Read More

The Power of Encouragement

October 3rd, 2013

My 44-year-old client Ruben went through his fourth chemical dependency treatment program a year ago and has been clean and sober ever since. A drug addict since his early teens, at no previous time has his sobriety lasted longer than six months. He freely admits that his totally willingness to do whatever is suggested to him by his sponsor and the professionals involved in his care has made all the difference. “I tried it my way long enough to know that doesn’t work – now I’m finally learning to follow directions.” For the first time, Ruben has added individual therapy to his 12 Step... Read More

Less Really Is More

October 3rd, 2013

Most parents of young adults struggle with a similar dilemma: wondering how involved we should be in helping our children find direction for their lives. On the one hand, we want our loved ones to be happy and successful, to have clearly defined goals and the motivation to carry them out. On the other hand, they often lack the goals and/or the motivation, which leads us to wonder how far we should push. I have learned that, generally, the less we do for them, the more they will do for themselves, though not always in the manner, or within the timeline, we would have chosen for them. Cathy and... Read More

Intensity in the Empty Nest

September 29th, 2013

Intensity in the Empty Nest By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert   As we ease out of Summer, and into Fall, many of us will agree that we\’ve been through an intense time. That\’s why it is now time to take a few minutes for ourselves, and why it is especially important to review our core values. For me, when I remember that I am more than what I am in the midst of living, then I can be present with perseverance and hope. Wondering where to start? Here are some suggestions: Review your talents. Check out how you are doing with your self-worth. Don\’t allow... Read More

Are You Dealing With a Passive-Aggressive Daughter-In-Law? With a Bit of Understanding, You\’ll Soon Discover How to Beat Her at Her Own Game

September 10th, 2013

Are You Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Daughter-In-Law? With a Bit of Understanding, You\’ll Soon Discover How to Beat Her at Her Own Game By Deanna Brann, Ph.D. NABBW’s In-Law Survival Associate A person who is passive aggressive in his or her behavior is difficult enough to deal with; when that person is a family member it is even worse. Dealing with this behavior (passive and unassuming on the surface, but nastily aggressive toward you underneath) can be incredibly difficult, draining, and frustrating. For mothers-in-law, dealing with a passive aggressive daughter-in-law can... Read More

Empty Nest—The Count Down

August 13th, 2013

Empty Nest — The Count Down By Natalie Caine M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert   Packing them up, checking the list, finalizing details, as your children are almost in the dorm. You are shocked that this life you have had with your precious one has gone so fast. Empty nest is not for long because they do come back, but for now, that is not what you are thinking and feeling. It is so normal to feel tearful, even having the ugly cries. The role you love is instantly going to change when you come back home from that hug at the dorm. You know the role you played as a parent and who they... Read More

Traveling With Family? Make It Memorable, Not Miserable!

July 26th, 2013

Traveling With Family? Make It Memorable, Not Miserable! By Deanna Brann, Ph.D. NABBW’s In-Law Survival Associate Summer’s here and it’s time for vacation! Most of us look forward to getting away all year long, anticipating a break from work, worries, and everyday life. But things can get tricky when we include more than just our immediate family. Whether you’re traveling with in-laws, siblings and their families, or even friends, you want the trip to be one that everyone enjoys. Just because you all know each other well doesn’t mean there won’t be any friction. Visiting with people... Read More

Making Your Grandchildren’s Memories “Grand” – Tips to Remember

July 26th, 2013

Making Your Grandchildren’s Memories “Grand” – Tips to Remember By Deanna Brann, Ph.D. NABBW’s In-Law Survival Associate Being a grandparent – what a balancing act! How do you find time to carve out a niche that’s all your own at this particular juncture in your life, as well as spend time with your adult children and their spouses, and then, forge your own unique relationship with each of your grandchildren? This is a tricky feat. We want it all, right? And, why not? Our lives have been building to this rewarding point where we have “our” time, family time, and “grandma-grandpa”... Read More