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Monday - November 23, 2020
 

The Royal Mile

November 14th, 2006

In Edinburgh, Scotland nestled between two castles, is a road called, “The Royal Mile.” In Alabama, I also have a, “Royal Mile” and was determined to walk it every day. Being royally fluffy, and with the holidays nipping at the heels of my walking shoes, the time to get in shape was now or never. I also knew with my personality, I had to ban every excuse imaginable from my mind. No more Ms. Nice Gal … I said to myself, “I\’m fluffy; therefore I\’ll walk.” It was that simple. I take it back because nothing, nothing is ever simple... Read More

CinderPillow

October 13th, 2006

Author\’s Note: This TRUE story was inspired by my good friend and mentor, Prill Boyle, who truly IS a Cinderella. Ask any psychiatrist worth their weight in Prozac and they\’ll tell you that children can be traumatized at an early age by a parent\’s lack of understanding and their insensitivity. Take Halloween night, for instance. Its one night for Pete\’s sake. It comes ONCE a year and you don\’t get to celebrate it again until the following year…same time, once a year. Are we clear on this? So, one would think that one\’s parents would have understood a... Read More

Lost and Found … Myself

September 15th, 2006

My idea of a leisurely Sunday afternoon is my couch, a plate of nachos, and Oreo\’s while I watch yet another rerun of Agatha Christie\’s, Poirot. Not so for my best friend, Liz. Hers involve anything announcing to the world we\’ve reached mid-life. Like paying some guy who dresses in nothing but a sheet and sandals twenty-five bucks to teach us how to … get in touch with our inner “baby boomer” selves, to find that child within, to … whatever. For some reason known only to my inner child, I agreed to go along with her latest obsession of self-finding. I should... Read More

That\’s Not My Job

August 1st, 2006

For over twenty years, I worked in a job that held a service contract with the Government. In other words, when they said, “Jump” we responded with, “How high?” The thought never entered anyone\’s mind to say, “That\’s not my job.” I also believe that for the most part, these same work ethics were the norm across the board in just about any store, restaurant, or other places of business during those years. Now it seems that the opposite is true. I visit a mega store (notice how I didn\’t say Wal-mart? Pretty clever, eh?) and spend more time looking for someone to... Read More

The Queen of Imagination

July 1st, 2006

Growing up I was known by my friends and family as the Queen of Imagination. In other words, I could out-lie just about anybody, including my four sisters. Just the other day, one sister admitted she\’d always admired my ability to “elasticize” the truth. It seems I had an uncanny ability to take the truth, bounce it around, stretch it this way or that, mold it to my liking, then serve it back to the recipient without ever cracking one facial expression. I was the master of deceit. This isn\’t exactly what I had in mind for a legacy, so after surviving my teen years, I decided the... Read More

Mattress King vs. da Queen

June 1st, 2006

Waking up every morning for a week with my back in a “locked” position convinced me the twenty-year-old mattress might need replacing. Some say I\’m a pack-rat and cannot throw things away. I prefer frugal. Besides, I accidentally removed the tags from it when I bought it twenty years ago and I\’ve been waiting for the statue of limitations to expire. I don\’t look good in stripes, or orange. Buying “large ticket” items goes against my tightwad— ah, frugal grain and puts me in a foul mood from the get go, and of course whenever that happens, I somehow become a... Read More

Valentine\’s Day, She loves Me, She loves …

January 1st, 2006

We were sitting around my girlfriend\’s kitchen table and of course, as “girl talk” goes, one thing lead to another. Being writers, we relate everything to “months” and what\’s going on in the “month.” We knew the next event in a writer\’s world was Valentine\’s Day. Inspired by this, and secretly looking for fodder, I said, “If you could do anything you wanted to do on Valentine\’s Day, just for this one day, what would it be?” I was expecting to hear them say things like “Oh I\’d sweep me and my hubby off to Barbados for a weekend filled... Read More

All I Want For Christmas Is…

December 1st, 2005

kay, that title may not be original, but my idea is. Hold on to your stocking stuffers\’ people cause I have a whopper of an idea for Christmas this year. I\’ve been giving this gift buying-running-to-the-mall-fighting-the-crowds-going-into-debt-and-cooking-for-the-multitudes thing, a lot of thought. What say this year we reverse the roles? Hmm? I mean, who says that kids should get all the neat toys and gifts under the tree, anyway? And what about the best candy always going in THEIR stockings? Exactly WHO made up these rules? I know I didn\’t. You? More than likely, it was someone... Read More

Holiday…Oops…I Mean Hospital Inn Express

November 1st, 2005

When my oldest son became ill, I spent nearly at week at the hospital, night and day. I discovered many things about hospitals that I am inclined to share. First and foremost, repeat after me, “This ain\’t no Holiday Inn™.” The sooner you get use to that idea, the better. Also, there are 397 possible positions of those so called “fold-out” chair-beds. Most of them can be viewed in any Chinese Torture book. Staff nurses think only of the patients. What\’s up with that? Would it kill them to bring me coffee when they first hear me fall out of the chair-bed? A muffin?... Read More

The Name Game

October 1st, 2005

Practically everybody has more than one name or title. I know I sure do. There\’s the one that\’s used when a great need arises, “Mommmm, can I use your car? Mine\’s out of gas. And ah…can I borrow 10 bucks?” After raising teens, I discovered the word “borrow” holds dual meanings. The first means to lend something, while the other is to give it away without expecting any return. Ever. And another name that\’s used is when a gentle reminder seems necessary, “Honey, I know you\’re all grown up now, but hasn\’t your Mother told you time and again... Read More