Everybody has a “grouchy” day now and then. Today was mine. If I\’d met “Little Miss Mary Sunshine,” I\’d probably have beaten her to a pulp. Yes, I know the Queen doesn\’t normally feel icky, but after a night of tossin\’ and turnin,\’ I stumbled to the kitchen only to find that Mr. Coffee had […]
I was excited knowing the grandbeauties were due for another sleep over. Wearing my “grandmother of the year” ego, I verified the normal supplies were available. Popsicles, CHECK Crayons and the “graffiti on walls” speech, CHECK Lunch/supper/snacks in the shape of cartoon characters, CHECK Movies without violence or crime, and music by that purple dinosaur […]
It\’s written that the planet Mercury goes retro a few times a year. This means it spins backwards for some unknown reason, for an extended period, then dashes forward almost spastic like, in a big way. Big deal. I used to date a guy who would do that while dancing to Saturday Night Fever. However, […]
This month I\’m taking a serious mode of writing. That is, as serious as a humorist can write. Of late, I\’ve noticed more and more I borrow trouble. In other words, I forget that today is all I have, or ever will have, and that yesterday is insignificant. It\’s gone, kaput, can\’t change it… done…over…period. […]
Just once before I die, I want to have one of those incredible days. You know the kind where everything goes your way. Almost like magic is in the air. Ones you\’ve read about where people find a wallet and turn it in to the authorities. Voila! They\’re given a thousand dollar reward. Or, they […]
If these are not laws, they should be. There is nothing more annoying than those adorable people you love calling and breaking all the rules of phone equit … ah … eqi … ah … manners. Phone manners. People who break these rules are probably the same people who go through the 10 Items or […]
Ever heard the old saying, “If we were meant to fly, God would have given us wings?” Well, trust me, we don\’t have um, and we can\’t fly. Although some of us try. 2010 Lesson Learned: When you try to cram everything into one minute of time, you really need to reassess your pace. Picture […]
They are evil. Every one of them. My sisters, my brother-in-laws, nieces, nephews, even my mom. Evil I tell you. One of my sisters, who will remain nameless here and in my Will, decided we should forgo gifts last year. She suggested we buy a “$1.00 to $10.00” gift and play the game, Dirty Santa. […]
I\’m pretty sure I run a half-way house for animals. In fact, I believe there must be a sign out front that says, “Drop off your unwanted canines and felines here. This is the place. Her lips may say NO, but her heart says me casa is su casa.” Enter the latest…Miss Kitty. Original, yes? […]
We need a “Hug Your Humorist” month, day, or year. Why not? After diligent research, I found that we celebrate: The Bilingual Child Month – mine have been bilingual every since they were teenagers. Have you ever tried to understand a teen? Not gonna happen. They have a language all of their own. The Class […]
