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“I’m Not You In Love With You Anymore” ~~ How Many Spouses Have Heard That Statement? (And What to Do When It Happens)

May 26th, 2015

By Jed Diamond PhD, LSCW, NABBW’s Associate for Male Menopause The beginning of the end or the first step toward real, lasting love? ––– Marcia was devastated when her husband of twenty-five years told her, “I’m not in love with you anymore. The life has gone out of our marriage and I don’t think we can get it back.” Two days later her husband Mark moved out of the house. He said he needed to sort things out. The couple’s two children were distraught and afraid. Marcia called me in full panic mode. “I feel blind-sided,” she told me. “We’ve had our ups and down... Read More

Don’t Give Up on Love: Six Things to Consider When Your Relationship is in Crisis

April 23rd, 2015

By Jed Diamond, PhD, for the NABBW Let’s face it, we all want to have a joyful relationship that lasts through time, but many of us despair at having what we so desperately need. Many of us are single and long to be married. Many of us are married but are unhappy and are thinking of leaving. I’ve been counseling men and women for more than 40 years and I have seen more than 10,000 couples. Clearly there are some people who should not be married and need help separating in a way that is least destructive to the couple, as well as their children. However, I’ve found over the years that divorce... Read More

Are You Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? How to Stop Choosing Type Z and Find Type A

April 21st, 2015

By Jed Diamond, PhD, LSCW NABBW’s Associate for Male Menopause We all want love, but we often have a hard time finding it and keeping love alive and well in our relationships. According to statistics compiled by divorcerate.org, 40% to 50% of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Most of us marry again, but the odds are against us. 60% to 67% of second marriages don’t last and nearly 75% of third marriages fail. Many have become fearful of “marriage” and look for a healthy long-term “relationship” without “typing the knot.” Divorce statistics are notoriously difficult to... Read More

If You Want to Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Marry a Short Man (The Real Secrets of Finding True Love)

March 4th, 2015

By Jed Diamond, PhD, LSCW NABBW’s Associate for Male Menopause For more than 40 years I’ve been a marriage and family therapist specializing in helping women and men find the love of their life and keep their relationship alive and well. One of the main questions I’ve heard from literally thousands of women is the following: Where are all the good men? It seems that all the good ones are taken and the rest are all losers. What do I have to do to find true love? I suggest that they are looking for love in all the wrong places. I actually wrote a book called Looking for Love in All the Wrong... Read More

If Your Doctor Says You Have Breast Cancer or Prostate Cancer You May Not Have Cancer at All

February 24th, 2015

By Jed Diamond, PhD, LSCW NABBW’s Associate for Male Menopause  Cancer is one of the scariest words in the English language. It brings with it images of death, suffering, loss, and hopelessness. No matter how much we may know about the facts, when we hear the world “cancer” we go into fear mode. We are told we should get tested regularly in order to “catch cancer early so it can be effectively treated.” Even the tests can add to our anxiety and fear about cancer. I’ve lived with the fear of cancer all my life. It was the one thing my mother was terrified of getting. She smoked most... Read More

How to Reduce Stress and Improve Your Love Life: Lessons from the World’s Best Exotic Animal Trainers

August 4th, 2014

By Jed Diamond, PhD, LSCW NABBW’s Associate for Male Menopause Love has been a complicated presence in my life from the very beginning. Especially the challenges of love co-existing with stress. A few examples: My parents tried, unsuccessfully, to have a baby for many years. My mother finally got pregnant through artificial insemination, a procedure that was experimental seventy-plus years ago. Being pregnant brought both joy and stress.  I still remember hearing stories about her walking gingerly down 5th Avenue in New York, afraid she might lose the baby. And later, the stresses in their... Read More

Six Ways to Prevent Irritable Male Syndrome from Ruining Valentine’s Day

February 10th, 2014

Six Ways to Prevent Irritable Male Syndrome from Ruining Valentine’s Day By Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW NABBW’s Male Menopause Expert The true story of “Valentine’s Day” may tell us more about anger, irritability and violence than about candy, hearts, and flowers. Back in the day, 269 AD, a good priest named Valentine ran afoul of the Roman Emperor Claudius II. Valentine was sentenced to a three part execution of a beating, stoning, and finally decapitation. Talk about extreme irritable male syndrome. Getting irritable occasionally is part of being human, but getting locked into a pattern... Read More

6 Ways to Prevent Irritable Male Syndrome from Ruining Your Holidays

December 3rd, 2013

6 Ways to Prevent Irritable Male Syndrome from Ruining Your Holidays By Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW NABBW’s Male Menopause Expert The time between Thanksgiving and New Years can be wonderfully joyful and it can also be stressful and irritating.  Everyone can feel a bit overwhelmed with things to do, celebrations to attend, and family to please.  Getting irritable occasionally is part of being human, but getting locked into a pattern of negativity and anger can cause problems for men and the families that love them. What Is Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS)?  IMS was first described by research... Read More

Why Men Commit Suicide: The Three Warning Signs Most People Miss

July 18th, 2013

Why Men Commit Suicide: The Three Warning Signs Most People Miss By Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW NABBW’s Male Menopause Expert Recently I received a review copy of the book, Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men’s Success by Thomas Joiner, Ph.D. I was happy to offer a review. Dr. Joiner is one of the world’s leading experts on suicide and has published two previous books, Myths about Suicide (Harvard University Press 2010) and Why People Die by Suicide (Harvard University Press 2005). Dr. Joiner and I share a professional interest in suicide prevention. Suicide is a major world-wide epidemic... Read More

Are You (or are you married to) A Depressed Husband? Maybe It’s IMS – Take the Quiz

November 20th, 2012

Are You (or are you married to) A Depressed Husband? Maybe It’s IMS – Take the Quiz By Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW NABBW’s Male Menopause Expert After writing, The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression, I received hundreds of letters from women and men concerned about the impact that irritability and anger were having in their lives. Many of which are about either being or married to a depressed husband. This one is typical of the many I received: “Last month a man came home from work with my husband’s face but he did not... Read More