Dream your dreams. Help others feel at ease when they walk through your door but do not abandon yourself. Parents are making marketing lists from recipes and re-arranging colors in the house for the holidays. I have a list below that might give everyone a heads up on this transition. Children will come back from college, work, travel, their homes and some won\’t be able to make it. Winter break for college children can last for three to four weeks. In-laws, divorces, finances, illness, might make this holiday different than the others. Some children have other commitments and can\’t... Read More

Parents have been emailing and calling me about going to their children\’s first family weekend. Family weekend is when the parents visit their children and college campus to see what life is like now that they are settling into their new routine and life away from home. Truth is, some aren\’t settled yet and that is normal. Parents aren\’t settled either. Siblings and grandparents are getting new footing. Change brings surprises in these new roles. So I thought these stories would be fun. Good to remember: We, as parents, need to continually focus on our life and not theirs.... Read More

When life isn\’t going our way or we are sitting in sadness, we don\’t easily let others know. Empty nesters don\’t like letting others know they are down, disappointed, and can\’t see over the mountain, lethargic, lost. Parents are role models. Our whole life might seem to have been about our children. We haven\’t practiced taking care of our needs. Yes we work, we have partners, friends, hobbies, but we are the care takers. Talking with Cathy, a proud mother of three, wife, daughter, friend and career woman, she talked about her struggles with not feeling motivated,... Read More

“To change one\’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.” ~ William James Doesn\’t that quotation sound like cheerleaders at half time? Well, some people leap into change to keep tears away. Some drop like lead in water. Others let themselves cry, rest, pause, meander, and unfold. There is no right or wrong way to handle change. When children are packing up and leaving, the whole family feels the change, even the pets. Amy called me and said that she was overeating, sleeping a lot, exercising less and making lists that could wallpaper a bedroom. She... Read More

A mother told me during a telephone consultation that her daughter is a junior in high school and crying. Crying because her friends are seniors and leaving for college. She doesn\’t know if they will even be friends once they go to college. Those tears brought questions to the mom. What will I be like when my daughter leaves? I know it isn\’t for two years, but already I am dreading the empty nest. I just love her friends coming over and all the school activities my daughter and I share. I don\’t\’ care how messy the kitchen is or how I have to dash here and there.... Read More

“There is more to life than increasing its speed” Gandhi I love the feeling of the word summer. Playtime is expected and we are even given more light. Whether our children are at home or away , I think we need to plan our own playtime , which of course all of us know, but and yes there is a but . . . we wait to see if our kids will be home or if they might want to go to dinner or the beach or a movie. We aren\’t dependent. We simply love having time with our children. Isn\’t it a challenge when they first come back home to not wait and see what they are going to do?... Read More

May, the month of Mother\’s Day, kids on the way to graduating high school and college, getting a job or planning a wedding. May. May we… find excitement in figuring out what is next for us have new visions of how to relate to our adult children have faith that our children have learned to make good decisions for themselves feel okay about them not knowing what is next for them realize they left our nests because they were ready to fly Empty nesting is the stage of life where the days of planning meals, carpooling kids and overseeing homework are replaced with the exciting days... Read More

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. – Marcel Proust During our third phone consultation, Kate was talking about how she was doing with her free time. She is single with two kids thousands of miles away and loosely holds the number 56. She couldn\’t see how to have chickens on her property. She couldn\’t figure out what to do with all the eggs if she did have chickens. Long story short and I imagine you saw this coming . . . drum roll for her . . . She hooked up with a neighbor that she never knew before. Chicks, eggs,... Read More

“Even the most distressing situation can offer a glimmer of hope, an opportunity for self-respect.” — Dr. Gloria WilderBrathwaite, medical director of the D.C. Children\’s Health Project WHAT KIND OF EMPTY NESTER DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE? Before the countdown to your kids leaving home, try this fun quiz to see how prepared you are for the empty nest. If you\’re already an empty nester, this quiz can help you gauge how you\’re doing. Choose your response in each of these scenarios, then add up your final score at the end. 1. You wake up in the morning and... Read More

“We join spokes together in a wheel, but it is the center hole that makes the wagon move. We shape clay into a pot, But it is the emptiness inside That holds whatever we want. We hammer wood for a house, But it is the inner space That makes it livable. We work with being, But non-being is what we use.” –Tao Te Ching Empty nester parents remember cutting doilies into hearts; glue sticks on tables, making heart shaped mail bags with our kids to take to school so they can collect their valentines, and putting hearts all around the house when they were... Read More