I have spoken with many mothers and even fathers this year, from across the country, all with similar words “I can\’t believe how sad I am. I have done this letting go before. I thought it wouldn\’t hurt this much. Why didn\’t anyone ever talk about how horrible it is to be home in a silent house?” Your sadness and anxiety are real. It is interesting how parents and children parallel each other, both beginning new journeys and new roles. Different reasons for the change, but still, change is scary and lonely. After all the lists and build up of goodbye, and the months of... Read More

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” … Winston Churchill How can I be an empty nester? I am young, vibrant, and a mother of adorable children who look up at me to tie their shoes, sit them on the counter to stir the pancake batter, let them pick out their Halloween costume, sit in the auditorium with my video, as they perform in school plays, man the school fair booth, take them to the mall to get a new outfit for the party, cheer at the games, and go to parent conferences. Ok, so that has now become my past. Present... Read More

Empty today. Sad, worried, lonely, achy, anxious, immobile. Let just a little light in through the pain. Change always happens. In the center is the paradox of carrying hope and crying. Grieving is real. We just aren\’t use to paradoxes. Words like, both are true, and this is also how I feel, aren\’t communicated very often. We weren\’t taught to have a range of feelings and to honor all of them as value. All of the feelings build our heart muscles and add wonderment to life. Each experience, if you look back in your life, has added something for you to toss, re-evaluate, honor,... Read More

Over and over I am reminded that what gets us through painful times is a friend. We know that, but when we are hurting we isolate. We don\’t pick up the phone and ask a friend for help. We want to be the strong one. So I suggest you make a list of who you feel uplifted around? Who are you yourself with? Who is cheering for your happiness? Most of us play the role of supporter. We feel vulnerable when we reveal ourselves. Surprise is, we become closer to the friend who we speak our pain to. Being vulnerable and even sharing a “secret,” bonds us. Here\’s my take. We are already... Read More

No matter what is going on Never Give up Develop the heart Too much energy in your country Is spent developing the mind Instead of the heart Be compassionate Not just to your friends but to everyone Be compassionate Work for peace in your heart and in the world Work for peace and I Say again Never Give up No matter what is happening No matter what is going on around you Never Give up —H.H. the XIV Dalai We all know the day is coming, whether that day is the beginning of empty nest or the day our adult children are home for a visit and then leave. Is there prevention for sorrow? I believe... Read More

I have received emails from parents saying, “I can\’t believe it. I am having fun in my empty nest.” Sure their face brightens when the children call or come to visit. A father said to a friend when they were waiting in line for the movies, “Watch her face (referring to the mother in line) when I ask about how her daughter is doing. The mother instantly grins, eyes twinkle and she gets very talkative.” I don\’t think that reaction needs to be changed. What has changed, slowly, is parents are enjoying their free time and the silence in their home. They are changing... Read More

When our precious ones were younger, we were dashing. Now they are still precious, but we aren\’t dashing towards them. Love, what is it you are dashing towards and what is ok for you to simply sit and ponder? My empty nester friends, who are single, want to sleep through the day and night of Valentine\’s Day. Married ones long for surprise. All of them remember and love the laced hearts they made with their children, as well as, the pink iced sugar cookies and red construction paper all over the floor. Change again. Children aren\’t home. Lovers are gone. Marriages need the... Read More

Welcome to a new year. Women are searching for new meaning now that their parental roles are changing. What do you need? What are your gifts? What are you waving goodbye to? “Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” –William Shakespeare What does feeling great mean to you? At this stage in our lives, we re-define what matters to us. I hear from the parents I work with that they all want to feel happy, to find new meaning, and to enjoy healthy relationships with their adult children. That would... Read More

“Life\’s Challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they\’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Bernice Johnson Reagon If you were to make time to venture inward to find a moment in your life, what memory would you visit? What emerges when you close your eyes and scan for something that touched you this year? Something that made you proud of your self, brought a smile? Don\’t think too long. Just let it surface and then write about it. Who cares how the words fall on the page? Just get it down and then read it out loud to yourself. If there is one thing... Read More

Dream your dreams. Help others feel at ease when they walk through your door but do not abandon yourself. Parents are making marketing lists from recipes and re-arranging colors in the house for the holidays. I have a list below that might give everyone a heads up on this transition. Children will come back from college, work, travel, their homes and some won\’t be able to make it. Winter break for college children can last for three to four weeks. In-laws, divorces, finances, illness, might make this holiday different than the others. Some children have other commitments and can\’t... Read More