Parents have been emailing and calling with the natural reaction after hugging their children goodbye, “I can\’t believe how sad I am. Is this normal?” YES. Why wouldn\’t you be sad saying goodbye to someone you love? I still go through those separation feelings when I hug goodbye and I have lots of experience with aloe Kleenex. FIVE TIPS FOR EMPTY NESTERS: PUT YOURSELF IN THE CENTER OF YOUR LIFE. You have been devoted to your children. BEGIN DEEPENING AND HEALING ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. Review ones you want to deepen, let go of, or make some shift. ALLOW YOUR ADULT CHILDREN TO... Read More

Parents have said to me that they haven\’t taught their children: How to do laundry? How to budget? How to do time management? How to book an airline ticket and get to the airport? How to balance college and social life? How to stay safe? I am sure there are more concerns that would pop up on your list. It is normal to feel anxious about what you haven\’t done. If there is one thing you had to pick that wasn\’t negotiable to discuss, I would vote for a SAFETY TALK. Even if you Google safety tips for college students and print out a list for them or decide to write one yourself,... Read More

A THOUGHT OF CONFIDENCE “I think that you find your own way. You have your own rules. You have your own understanding of yourself, and that\’s what you\’re going to count on. In the end, it\’s what feels right to you. Not what your mother told you. Not what some actress told you. Not what anybody else told you but the still, small voice”. ~ Meryl Streep It is getting real and still not that you won\’t be hearing the sound of your children every day. Get support and make a plan. Lower your expectations that you will have as much time with them this summer as you would... Read More

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters, compared to what lies within us.”~ Emerson Parents are mixed with feelings of pride, excitement, and anxiety. You are on the countdown to the big hug goodbye. Honestly, it isn\’t real until you come back home to silence. Here are some TIPS in the transition of changing your role with yourself and your children. 1. Be GENTLE and PATIENT with yourself. You will need to be nurtured. Think about what nurtures you. Make a list; comfy food made ahead and frozen, DVD\’s , spa day, peace in nature, friend who will listen and... Read More

Empty Nesters, women and men who have been in a career for decades, stay at home moms, parents retiring, college grads and people returning from service, are all asked, what do you want to do now? Are you asking yourself that question? Have you come up with some ideas but … I know what it is like when you are burnt out, can\’t figure out what to do next, or feel you just can\’t do it all by yourself. Over the years, I have heard stories of desire and confusion when it comes to what to do next. I was fortunate, sitting in my daughter\’s high school college meeting, that my... Read More

For six years I have been speaking with parents across the country about the challenges of being an empty nester, including the revolving door. I know we get sick of the word change and still that is inevitable. Books, articles, media, all say just do it, get on board for change now. Parents are asked to change their roles with their children. It is a major life transition: 1. Dealing with health issues 2. Care taking parents 3. Re-entering the work world 4. Questioning all your relationships 5. Memories of past losses 6. Longevity 7. Finding passion 8. Finding meaning 9. A community of like minded... Read More

Did you think you would have your best friend or good circle of friends by this stage of your life? You might think, yes, and I do, but I will share with you that I have been speaking with mothers across the country who are ready for new friendships. How to be Your Own Best Friend, by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz with Jean Owen is an oldie but goodie book that will inspire you when you have the blues about your friends. Mothers are talking about how their situation of being without their children at home has changed friendships. They don\’t have the high school community of friends... Read More

I\’m not an optimist, because I don\’t believe everything will turn out well. I\’m not a pessimist, because I don\’t believe everything will turn out badly. But I do keep hope in my heart because it is the antidote to cynicism, apathy and hopelessness. Vaclav Havel Winter season asks us to prepare our homes, closets, and cars in order to travel the chill. On the inner preparation, how are you coping with the chills of the unknown? Parents share with me their bottom line fear about their children entering the world and fear of what\’s next for them, “I don\’t... Read More

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” Pema Chodron I don\’t want to live isolated but people drive me crazy with saying they will change and they don\’t. This is what I hear from empty nesters and they go on to explain. Crazy for me is when they act like they hear me, nod, and then say they understand the disappointment, so sorry, and still show up using the same behavior. Crazy making. Can you relate to the above words? I often hear that story from empty nesters whether it comes from their children, partners, family... Read More

Some Americans wake up inspired and applauding; others fearful and disappointed. You, as parents, have been in all those feelings before, but for different circumstances. News brings up memories and feelings. We are a community here. We will come together no matter what the ups and downs. We will be here to celebrate good times. Change, whether for joy or challenges, brings up newness and maybe a sense of feeling off balance…a now what? Maybe you can remember the times you were hurting and didn\’t think the pain would end. It did. Maybe you can reach out to something or someone that... Read More