Change It Up By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert When I was in Boston last week, I tried something new. While walking, and this sounds silly I know, I would stop and look up. People in windows, staircases, cranes, flashing tall lights, birds and squirrels, shoes, the moon, stars, planes, lanterns, animals in the clouds. When I have the fun of taking photos, I photograph a different perspective rather than only what is right in front of me with the object. In my morning support group of transitions, we made a list of what we are going to do differently this week: 1. Not start... Read More

Why Don\’t More Parents Talk About Empty Nest? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert This weekend kids are packing up and heading to college. Parents are shocked at the gut pain they are feeling, hugging goodbye. The “ugly cry” visits them at unpredictable times, like while marketing. Goodbye drops them into the reality that their parenting role will never be as it was before. They are kicked out of the kingdom with an unfamiliar role as parents. Parents are in the background, not leading, not seeing day to day, and not hearing the stories after school. It is... Read More

Saying Goodbye to Your College Bound Kids By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert In our parent group, I suggested each share what they will miss and what they look forward to when they aren\’t parents every day. I suggested they remember to allow different parts of them to speak, the confident one, the brave one, the sad one, the freedom one, etc. We forget we have so many parts within us when sadness grips. Tears are a great thing even though I have never met one person who likes to cry unless they are alone. Even alone, the beginning of tears feels the worst because you... Read More

Have You Had To Speak Up In A Difficult Situation? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Did you speak up or let it be? A woman I worked with didn\’t think it was ok for her to share with her kids that she wanted what she wanted, which was to make her own choices about whether to travel or stay home. She used the words, wanted what she wanted because that was the unspoken truth. It is her choice and she forgot that thought. Yes, she heard all the reasons why she needed to go on a trip to “get out there” and yet she didn\’t think it was ok for them to... Read More

Changing Habits By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Many women tell me: “My habits seem to control me. My life is too predictable and boring.” Our daily lives are complex and we long for routine. The question is: “Are you happy?” We seem to forget that happiness is a real need and wanting to be happy is not something to feel guilty about. Here are some quick and simple things to try to break a habit: 1. During your day, pay attention to what lifts your energy and what depletes it. 2. Get outside every day for more than a walk to and from your car. 3.... Read More

A Deep Loss. And A Surprise By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Do you want the ending of the story or the beginning? Patience will give you the surprise ending that was greatly needed during loss. My cat, Sophie, who we adopted fourteen years ago, was still chatty and cuddly, until the Monday morning she suddenly died. I wept and wept. Home alone, I don\’t know where the movement in me came from, to swaddle her in a blanket, as I prepared to say goodbye. I know I was in shock, even though, I also knew she grew thinner and older weekly. Maybe, she was 91. I had... Read More

The Rhythm of Love By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert If you were to drum out a song for those you love, what words would you hope to convey? If you were to make a heart card, what would you draw in and outside the heart? If you danced love, how brave would you have to be? No matter what way you choose to express, hope you have fun. Don\’t forget to send those love notes to yourself…”What I love about myself is that I…What people say they love about me is… Celebrate the memories, the today, and the tomorrow hopes of love. Natalie Change is inevitable.... Read More

Holiday Transitions By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Did you pack your toothbrush? That is the one repeated question I ask, since I don\’t want to share. Travel and transitions are about feeling out of control. Who likes that feeling? Back to sharing….One of the top questions people bring up during our telephone consultation is that they don\’t want to talk about certain subjects during the holiday. They feel too vulnerable or private for now. I will cut to the chase and suggest you say, “I pass-on talking about that subject this holiday. I will... Read More

Five Things Empty Nesters Shouldn\’t Say to Their Children By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Five Things Empty Nesters Shouldn\’t Say to Their Children: 1. You never call. Shift that to, I would love to get an email, text, or call from you even it is short. I know you are busy. 2. You always wait until the last minute. Judgment distances us from those we love. They know they procrastinate. Shift to; you know your style of getting things done. Do you think it would be difficult to change that? 3. You go see them and not us anymore. Shift to, it must be hard to juggle... Read More

Empty Nest Support Group By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Whether you are on your way to emptying your nest or already sitting in it, the role you lived as parent shifts. Who are you beyond mother? Who are you beyond father? When you sit with others who are on a similar journey, you feel a bonding, a clan, a place to be right where you are with your full range of thoughts and feelings. Until you hug your children goodbye and come back home to their empty room and silence, it isn\’t real. You think about. You wonder how you will be and what will be next for you?... Read More