Change It Up By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert When I was in Boston last week, I tried something new. While walking, and this sounds silly I know, I would stop and look up. People in windows, staircases, cranes, flashing tall lights, birds and squirrels, shoes, the moon, stars, planes, lanterns, animals in the clouds. When I have the fun of taking photos, I photograph a different perspective rather than only what is right in front of me with the object. In my morning support group of transitions, we made a list of what we are going to do differently this week: 1. Not start... Read More

Why Don\’t More Parents Talk About Empty Nest? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert This weekend kids are packing up and heading to college. Parents are shocked at the gut pain they are feeling, hugging goodbye. The “ugly cry” visits them at unpredictable times, like while marketing. Goodbye drops them into the reality that their parenting role will never be as it was before. They are kicked out of the kingdom with an unfamiliar role as parents. Parents are in the background, not leading, not seeing day to day, and not hearing the stories after school. It is... Read More

Saying Goodbye to Your College Bound Kids By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert In our parent group, I suggested each share what they will miss and what they look forward to when they aren\’t parents every day. I suggested they remember to allow different parts of them to speak, the confident one, the brave one, the sad one, the freedom one, etc. We forget we have so many parts within us when sadness grips. Tears are a great thing even though I have never met one person who likes to cry unless they are alone. Even alone, the beginning of tears feels the worst because you... Read More

Can You See The Bigger Picture? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Parents are on the countdown to goodbyes. When you are going through a transition, it helps to focus on the grander image of why you are choosing what you are choosing. 1. Do you need more energy?2. Is it time to explore a change of behaviors or people in your life?3. Whether chosen or given, change happens, so what is possible now for you?4. Who can help you?5. How do you make decisions, quickly or over time?6. What are your gifts and your limitations?7. How do you comfort yourself?8. What fears pop up about... Read More

Father\’s Day By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert None of these photos are my dad. They are my dad\’s imaginary best friends. I loved seeing him, just home from a match, club bag on arm and clicking sounding shoes, coming across the floor. Not his profession, his weekend obsession. If he wasn\’t in a game, as he grew frail, he and I would curl up, TV on high volume, cheering about something that I never did figure out, except when the white ball rolled on the green and into that circle. He wasn\’t into teaching. The match was his relaxation time.... Read More

Have You Had To Speak Up In A Difficult Situation? By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Did you speak up or let it be? A woman I worked with didn\’t think it was ok for her to share with her kids that she wanted what she wanted, which was to make her own choices about whether to travel or stay home. She used the words, wanted what she wanted because that was the unspoken truth. It is her choice and she forgot that thought. Yes, she heard all the reasons why she needed to go on a trip to “get out there” and yet she didn\’t think it was ok for them to... Read More

Changing Habits By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Many women tell me: “My habits seem to control me. My life is too predictable and boring.” Our daily lives are complex and we long for routine. The question is: “Are you happy?” We seem to forget that happiness is a real need and wanting to be happy is not something to feel guilty about. Here are some quick and simple things to try to break a habit: 1. During your day, pay attention to what lifts your energy and what depletes it. 2. Get outside every day for more than a walk to and from your car. 3.... Read More

A Deep Loss. And A Surprise By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Do you want the ending of the story or the beginning? Patience will give you the surprise ending that was greatly needed during loss. My cat, Sophie, who we adopted fourteen years ago, was still chatty and cuddly, until the Monday morning she suddenly died. I wept and wept. Home alone, I don\’t know where the movement in me came from, to swaddle her in a blanket, as I prepared to say goodbye. I know I was in shock, even though, I also knew she grew thinner and older weekly. Maybe, she was 91. I had... Read More

The Rhythm of Love By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert If you were to drum out a song for those you love, what words would you hope to convey? If you were to make a heart card, what would you draw in and outside the heart? If you danced love, how brave would you have to be? No matter what way you choose to express, hope you have fun. Don\’t forget to send those love notes to yourself…”What I love about myself is that I…What people say they love about me is… Celebrate the memories, the today, and the tomorrow hopes of love. Natalie Change is inevitable.... Read More

Holiday Transitions By Natalie Caine, M.A. NABBW’s Empty Nest Expert Did you pack your toothbrush? That is the one repeated question I ask, since I don\’t want to share. Travel and transitions are about feeling out of control. Who likes that feeling? Back to sharing….One of the top questions people bring up during our telephone consultation is that they don\’t want to talk about certain subjects during the holiday. They feel too vulnerable or private for now. I will cut to the chase and suggest you say, “I pass-on talking about that subject this holiday. I will... Read More