Honey, I’m Home: How to Prevent or Resolve Marriage Conflicts Caused by Retirement
Author: Robert P. Delamontagne
Reviewed By: Anne Holmes for the NABBW
If you\’re one of the thousands of Boomers who is feeling a bit uncertain about a future date when you and your loving spouse will find yourselves living together in 24/7 “Retirement bliss,” then you\’ll want to be sure to read this insightful and engaging book.
In it, Dr. Robert Delamontagne introduces the reader to a set of principles and actions that he says can lead to a more peaceful and rewarding marital relationship. And, as the author of “The Retiring Mind: How to Make the Psychological Transition to Retirement,” he ought to know.
In this book, he answers many commonly voiced pre-retirement concerns, such as:
- What are the primary causes of marital conflict in retirement?
- Where are the hidden incompatibilities in your relationship?
- How can you effectively resolve personality differences between you and your spouse?
- How can you rekindle and renew the heartfelt emotions that were a mainstay of your relationship in years past?
- How can you and your partner grow in your relationship and find greater peace and understanding?
Dr. Delamontagne also answers other questions which arise in daily married life, such as: “Why do conflicts seem to be increasing in my relationship after retirement? I thought that this was going to be a time for greater peace and happiness. Instead I feel more tension than ever with my spouse.”
Honey, I\’m Home is a practical guide that leads the reader step by step through a series of insights and actions that will help resolve troubling differences that may have been lying dormant in your marriage for years. It is packed with advice and exercises that provide explicit ways to improve your marriage and general well-being.
I particularly enjoyed the section on identifying your E- or EnnagramType. This well-regarded personality quiz, which is provided in the Appendix, asks 45 simple questions, such as, “I love taking care of children,” “I have a tendency to be too self-critical and demanding,” or “I enjoy being the center of attention.” In answering these questions, to which there are multiple choice answers, and then scoring the results, you are able to gain a bit of understanding about yourself and what sort of personality style you are currently operating from (Note, this style can change over the course of your life.)
Once your spouse answers the same questions, you have a good chance to reveal hidden motivations for your actions, and better understand what is important to you now. And then you\’re on your way to figuring out how to resolve any personal differences between the two of you, providing you with your own personal answers to those important questions listed above.