Suffering From Negative Head-Talk?
Nearly everyone does battle with that pesky voice of self-judgment and sabotaging put-downs that chatters away in our heads.
And, in response to a recent teleseminar we gave titled “The Fear
of Being Fabulous” we received a request from a participant who said:
“I would love to hear how you remove the head talk that keeps you
from being fabulous. I can get so far and then I\’m stopped by my head
talk.”
Here\’s our answer . . .
First, you\’ll know it\’s Head-Talk by the repetitive, nagging
attack on who you are. Your self-respect and self-esteem can end up in
the toilet. And you can end up on the edge of . . . well, for us it\’s
sometimes been the pothole from hell.
On the other hand, if you only hear a single reminder or even a
reprimand, that\’s usually your wisdom giving you a heads-up to watch
out or correct for behavior that\’s not in your best interest.
But Negative Head-Talk is relentless once it gets going. Its job
is to successfully bring you down and remind you of your “proper”
place.
What\’s “proper” about being put down?
Well, you weren\’t born turning yourself into a brick of Swiss cheese, with more holes than substance. Right?
Somewhere along your life, probably earlier than later, you were
told negative stuff about who you are and what you could accomplish and
what you could have and who you could be . . .
Even if you cannot now remember what it was or who said it.
Because if that hadn\’t happened, there wouldn\’t be any Negative
Scripts in your noggin\’ that involuntarily blast away at you as
Negative Self-Talk.
So, what to do when that destructive force turns on you and fills your head with lies . . .
1) Know they are lies.
2) Remember We\’re On Your Side and we told you they\’re lies.
3) Take yourself back to where they came from originally, and see
if you can remember who told you those lies, when, and what for . . .
4) Then notice how, when that Negative Head-Talk takes over, you
are still in allegiance to that person and that part of your history.
5) Know that even after you\’ve got hold of its source, when the
Negative Self-Talk yammers at you you\’ll be tempted to side with IT
instead of with YOU.
6) So that\’s when you must practice taking your own side,
something you couldn\’t do when you were younger. But you must practice
doing it now.
7) Make the commitment to break your allegiance. This won\’thappen
without fear, pain, and sorrow. And there will be a sense of loss.
That\’s expected and normal.
8) Know that this need to detach from the past is urgent. Because that\’s the key to your well-being and a fabulous future.
9) Stay away from blame. That just keeps you stuck to the past.
And that\’s just another, less obvious form of your allegiance.
10) Make the commitment to side with your desire. It\’s your
desire that will carve out and light the path to the Positive Head-Talk
that you need as your powerful guide and ally.
Now, every time your Negative Head-Talk threatens, you have your
own internal arsenal to combat and overcome its power to trash your
well-being. With practice you\’ll see that that voice becomes weaker and
less active.
And you will enjoy the freedom to be fabulously alive and loving on your own terms.
