Tuesday - August 21, 2018
Categories of Caregiving
 

Make It a Happy New Year

January 15th, 2010

Are you like me . . . dazzled by all the lights and decorations of the holidays, surrounded by the warmth of family and friends, and swept up with the magic? Are you then bummed when January comes and, as if with a flick of a switch, the parties stop, the mail is once again just bills, the lights are turned off, and we go back to life as usual? This is a difficult time for a lot of people – the dreariness of the winter months and the sudden letdown after all the excitement. I know it’s a huge letdown for me but at least I have work and all kinds of obligations to distract me. Sadly, it’s... Read More

Make These Holidays to Remember

December 14th, 2009

This week I went to a meeting where the topic was sharing special holiday memories. In addition to our memories, everyone was asked to bring their favorite holiday foods. It was a lot of fun but also a little sad because for several of them – including me – one of their loved ones past away this year. Fortunately for all of us, the happy memories of holidays past live on. When family members are visiting their parents for the holidays, I often encourage them to use that time to make sure they\’re parent is ok. Look for things such as: is your loved one clean, well groomed, and properly... Read More

How to Recall Memories More Easily

November 11th, 2009

Because of the my mother\’s dementia, I\’m often asked by people who are concerned about “intellectual pauses” of their loved one (or their own) if there\’s anything they can do to remember more, longer, and make their memories easier to access. Please know that I\’m not a “brain specialist”. Nothing written here should imply a diagnosis or a way to prevent Alzheimers or any of the dozen or so other types of dementia. However, based on information I\’ve learned through research, personal observation and experience, I say Yes! Before I can tell you how to... Read More

Living Together Meaningfully

October 13th, 2009

Many parents are uncomfortable living in their children\’s home – the feeling that they\’re an imposition – especially if they have nothing to do. Most parents don\’t want to feel like guests, yet it\’s a fine line between helping and interfering. This is an actual story . . . “After my husband\’s death, my daughter invited me to live with her and her husband in their new large house, 125 miles away. Actually, I was the one who suggested it because at the time it appeared that her husband was going to be taking a job with such a long commute that he could... Read More

YOU WANT ME TO PAY RENT?

September 14th, 2009

Here\’s a tough one . . . Your Mom and/or Dad has moved in with you. At some point s/he told you s/he wants to pay you something to help defray the cost and you said no. Or maybe when the subject came up and you were uncomfortable and said “let\’s discuss it later”. I mean. . . what do you say? Your aging loved one is now living with you so s/he is not a guest. In fact, it\’s even worse than that . . . they\’re your parents!! After all they\’ve done for you, can you seriously ask them to pay rent? So now s/he has moved in with you and the issue of money has... Read More

Enjoying Your Vacation with Mom

July 14th, 2009

Can you believe that summer is here? Whether graduation, a wedding, or a vacation, as a caregiver, a big question you may be asking yourself is should you bring your aging loved one along with you on the trip or not. If the answer is ‘yes\’, this article will help you make it a good one. Cathy writes. . . . “Mom was very active until about a year ago when she broke her hip. Two years ago we took her with us on a cruise to the Caribbean. Originally, my husband and I planned to go to Hawaii, but there really wasn\’t much there for my mother do. We figured a cruise would eliminate... Read More

“Let\’s Live Together”

June 11th, 2009

There are a lot of reasons why parent(s) and their adult children decide to live together. The first and best reason is that everyone just wants to live together. You and your parent have a great relationship, perhaps they live far away, you have the room . . . you want them to come live with you while you both can enjoy the time together. Or perhaps your parent has suffered a loss such as the death of a spouse, a change in health, suffered a financial setback, lost possessions through fire or some other disaster. It could be anything and although your loved one is generally fine, they just need... Read More

7th (Non-Financial) Secret to Saving the Family Fortune

May 13th, 2009

Many people ask me when they should start talking with their aging loved ones about what they want for the future – where they want to live, what they want their prized possessions to go – that sort of thing. I\’ve heard people say the general rule of thumb is “40/60”. In other words, when you turn 40 and/or when your loved one turns 60. I personally don\’t agree. I say no matter how old you are or how old your loved one is, start now! A while back I asked you “How do you define “family fortune”?” I pointed out that most people say money when, in fact, that\’s... Read More

6th (Non-Financial) Secret to Saving the Family Fortune

April 14th, 2009

If preserving your loved one’s dignity as well as their estate is part of the family fortune you and your family care about saving; If their health and protecting their right to make health care decisions is important; If preserving their lifestyle in the face of a crisis is important; If avoiding airing their “dirty laundry” is important; If you want to avoid the lawyers, going to court, going through conservatorship proceedings is important; then it is particularly important that you make sure that your aging loved one’s advance planning documents are in order. However, have you tried... Read More

5th (Non-Financial) Secret to Saving the Family Fortune

March 12th, 2009

How often have you heard about siblings who aren\’t speaking because of some minor dispute that happened years ago? Maybe you know of siblings who were getting along just fine until they started talking about family issues and now they aren\’t speaking. Or maybe a conversation brought up old baggage. When we have strong emotions and/or opinions, it\’s difficult really to listen to someone with different, equally strong emotions and/or opinions. Maybe there is rivalry for Mom and Dad\’s attention. When dealing with eldercare, anything is possible. Eldercare can bring... Read More