After 44 years helping men and women achieve more satisfying and joyful relationships, I’ve accumulated some helpful wisdom. I’ve written about the 25 Most Important Things about Men and 25 Most Important Things about Sex, Love, and Marriage. Here’s some wisdom about women, sex, and love.

25. “You never lose by loving. You lose by holding back.” –Barbara De Angelis

24. “Woman the bowl, the urn, the cave, the musky jungle. We are the dark mysterium! We are hidden folds and primal wisdom and always, always, the womb, bearing life, releasing life, and then sucking it back in again, into those moist, chthonic plaits. ‘Male sexuality, then, returning to this primal source, drinks at the spring of being and enters the murky region, where up is down and death is life, of mythology,’ John Updike has written.” –Natalie Angier, Woman: An Intimate Geography.

23. “It is hard to understand why it is that when we have roots we want wings and when we have wings we seek roots, or why it is so difficult to have both at the same time. I just know that the people making the change to get one when they have the other rarely realize how important the one they are giving up will be until they’ve lost it. But by then, it is too late.” –Merle Shain, Courage My Love: A Book to Light an Honest Path.

22. “Many of us are addicts, only we don\’t know it. We turn to each other out of the same needs that drive some people to drink and others to heroin. Interpersonal addiction, love addiction, is just about the most common yet least recognized form of addiction we know.” –Stanton Peele, Love and Addiction.

21. “If our parents related to us in hostile, critical, cruel, manipulative, overbearing, over dependent, or otherwise inappropriate ways, that is what will feel ‘right’ to us when we meet someone who expresses, perhaps very subtly, undertones of the same attitudes and behaviors.” –Robin Norwood, Women Who Love Too Much.

20. “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” -Oprah Winfrey

19. “What competing is to males, choosing is to females. We do not mean to imply that women are not competitive with one another; they are, but not so directly or blatantly as men. Women tend to compete by focusing on themselves, by striving to look more attractive, seductive, desirable, and youthful than the competition. Of the three evolutionary goods female seek, a future mate’s resources are the most apparent and, to many, the most important. From insects to primates, females prefer wealthy men.”—Judith Lipton and David Barash, Making Sense of Sex.

18. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” –Maya Angelou

17. “Scientists have documented an astonishing array of structural, chemical, genetic, hormonal, and functional brain differences between women and men. For example, in the brain centers for language and learning women have 11 percent more neurons than men. The principle hub of both emotion and memory formation—the hippocampus—is also larger in the female brain, as is the brain circuitry for language and observing emotions in others.” –Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain.

16. “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”–Maureen Dowd

15. “I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time, is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay. —Virginia Satir

14. “If homosexuality is a disease, let\’s all call in queer to work: ‘Hello. Can\’t work today, still queer.’” –Robin Tyler

13. “Rx for Women. Regular Sex—at least once a week, and until this is available, remain celibate. While you’ll probably never get a prescription like this from a doctor, you should know that is actually sound advice. My research with more than seven hundred women confirms the value of weekly sexual contact, a weekly love cycle.” –Winnifred B. Cutler. Love Cycles: The Science of Intimacy.

12. “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” —Harriet Tubman

11. “Two oddly correlated phenomena, the international baby boom and the biology of menopause, will accelerate women\’s impact on tomorrow. Middle-aged women around the world tend to become much more assertive. With menopause, levels of the estrogens decline, unmasking natural levels of testosterone and other androgens in the female body. ‘Such a critical mass of older women with a tradition of rebellion and independence and a way of making a living has not occurred before in history,’ writes historian Gerda Lerner. We stand on the doorway of what may become an age of women.” –Helen Fisher,

Jed is Founder and Director of the MenAlive, a health program that helps men live long and well. Though focused on men's health, MenAlive is also for women who care about the health of the men in their lives.