It Doesn’t Matter
With three young adults and their raging hormones bouncing off the walls, it’s hard to believe we ever pleaded with God for a family. “Just one Lord, for starters. It’s been four years and we’re still not pregnant. We promise we’ll never miss church again.” Those days are gone!
Matt, the number one son arrived from Korea at the airport. Our daughter, Jessica arrived two years later, at the airport. And Jon, our third child arrived seven months later, at the hospital. Phew!
A week after Jess arrived; Matt announced we could take her back to the airport. No wonder he was confused when visiting Jon at the hospital. When he’d had enough of him, where should he go? Airport, hospital? Where do babies come from anyway?
In our family, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they’re here. The kids are now 23, 21, and 20, and the past 23 years have been a whirlwind of ups and downs. Mainly ups! We’ve been blessed with three children who all claim their individuality.
I recall people speaking to my husband and me as though we’d done some great act of charity by adopting children from another country. They didn’t get it. We weren’t trying to save the world. I wish I could say we were. We had more selfish reasons in mind. We wanted a family.
Raising these kids has often caused us to reflect upon which traits are biological and which are environmental.
When Matt was diagnosed with the very same allergies as his dad we couldn’t help but wonder. Several years later, Jess, our other adopted child was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Not only does Dad have allergies, he’s a Type I Diabetic. I continue to tease my husband that he has an Asian hottie running around somewhere that I don’t know about. Now Jon, the biological one, has neither to this point. Go figure.
That’s just the physical *stuff*. Can you imagine what happens when we get into the emotional packaging? A psychiatrist could have a field day with us.
In our home we focus on the individuality of each child. All three learn differently, have a multitude of interests, different tastes in clothing, enjoy different sports, and hang out with their own friends. No cookie cutter kids here. However, they’ve been raised with the same morals and values. They’ve been raised in the same home, by the same parents, day in, and day out. We’ve taught them to treat others they way they like to be treated. We’ve listened, been patient, and gently guided them into being the best person each one is capable of being. Isn’t that what any parent would do?
I’m convinced anyone would find the same in a family splattered with many differing birth parents. We are one family and we love one another beyond measure. We’ve been blessed with loving relationships and wouldn’t change it for the world. For those still pleading with the Lord to let them get pregnant, I say…give it up. Adopt!
God had different plans in store for us and while going through infertility; we were clueless of His plans. Our hindsight is 20/20. A mix of adopted and birthed is the only thing this family knows.