By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW The generation known as the Baby Boomers is now aged somewhere between  57 and 75. When I began to write this months’ blog post, I realized that that this 18-year difference is extremely significant. When you consider our demographic’s birth years, (1946 to 1964) you realize that those of us born in the first five years of this demographic (1951 and earlier) grew up in a much different world than did those Baby Boomers who were born in the last five years (1961 to 1964). The expectations of us — and our experiences — were much different.... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW I have heard the expression, “stop and smell the roses” since I was 19 years old. This has been 56 years of my life. That is the entire length of my marriage. Until I was 19, my parents believed that they needed to keep me busy so I wouldn’t get into trouble. (Translation: so that I wouldn’t get pregnant.) This was the 50s and early 60s, so that was their greatest fear — to have a daughter get pregnant before she was married. The message I understood from their attitude was that ‘if you do not stay busy all your life, you will get into trouble.’... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW: I have always been a list maker. That is how I, as a dyslexic, had learned to accomplish the things that had to be done. I would start my day by listing what I needed to accomplish. Then come the weekend, I would list what I wanted to accomplish in two days instead of one, so the list got longer. I would place my list on the dining room table and cross off each item as I accomplished it. My list was always so long that looking at it, one would never think I had accomplished much in a day. On a good day or two, the most I could accomplish would have been 4-5... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW: Before I begin let me define the terms I am going to be discussing. There are two: 1- Chronic Illness and 2- Acute Illness. These explanations come from the Center for Disease Control, DSM-V, and Wikipedia. A chronic condition is a human health condition or disease that is persistent or otherwise long lasting in its effects or a disease that comes with time. The term chronic is often applied when the course of the disease lasts for more than three months. Common chronic diseases include arthritis, asthma, cancer, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD),... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW This past July, I fell, bruising my knees and shoulders and whiplashing my neck. Today, I am still recovering. What I have found is that at age 75, I am not recovering like I used to, even at age 60. I am grateful that I did not break anything besides my ego. The fall triggered my fibromyalgia, causing pain all over my body, so I decided it was time to see a rheumatologist. She not only confirmed the fibromyalgia, but also diagnosed severe arthritis. After discussing my options for a recovery plan, together we decided that I would begin with aquatic physical... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW “Life Is What Happens While You’re Busy Making Other Plans” – John Lennon As I began pondering this month’s blog, this quote continued to run through my mind. I am one of many people in the world who has music in the background of my brain all the time. Along with the quote came the music and lyrics to the song Let It Be, also by John Lennon: “Singing Words of Wisdom, Let It Be, Let It be.” So, I asked myself: What do either of these quotes have to do with my current Blog? What do they have to do with my theme of Grief? The answer was the theme of... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW While trying to write my next article for you, I experienced writer’s block due to low motivation, probably brought on by my own grief. So I took some of my own advice and decided to reflect on my state of being through meditations on what I was feeling. (There is that “f” word again.) Next, I reread my previous blogs. In doing this, I made the discovery that the tips I gave you for finding your way through grief were actually just the bullet points of larger concepts. I realized that to be more helpful, I really needed to offer you examples, or find you... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW As the pandemic continues, I am becoming more aware of what it means to experience disenfranchised grief: The illusion of Normalcy and Control is slowly being taken away from me. (I suspect that this has happened to everyone.) In trying to write this month’s blog I realized that I was experiencing too many instances of disenfranchised grief.  If I tried to cover them all this blog it would become a novel.  So, I decided to write about a few of the most unrecognized or unspoken losses in my life. The first is the loss of the ability to plan, to have something... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn for the NABBW I ended my last blog post,  in which I discussed how I was dealing with the losses generated by the COVID pandemic, with a plan to Reflect, Remember, Rest, Recharge, Refocus, Resolve and have Curiosity while doing the “six Rs of grief.” As time has moved forward, I have tried to separate the steps and work on them in a vertical progression. A month later, I am finding that as I try to go through the stages of grief, I am not achieving the usual result. So I have decided to grieve on a continuum, knowing that the stages will overlap or at least bleed... Read More

By Trina O’Quinn, for the NABBW One would think that the stay-at-home and self-isolating orders issued by our various states in response to the COVID-19 pandemic would be food for an introvert’s soul. In some ways it is. It’s working well for my introverted personality, which tends to want to isolate to the point of invisibility. However, deep in my soul I know that it is working too well, and undoing all the therapy I have done around socialization. Socializing takes a lot of my energy, so I need isolation and rest to recharge. My extroverted friends, on the other hand,... Read More