Southerners love grits, cornbread, apple pie and barbecues. They also love “iced tea” on a hot, summer afternoon, and Coke (i.e., any brand of soda on this planet). They are laid back, enjoy life, and love their families. Southerners are often misunderstood with their undeniable slow talk and rhythm, and have been known to confuse more than one Yankee when asked for driving directions. You want the Smith\’s place? Sure thing! Just go past the tree on the right-hand side of Widow Barker\’s 1942 green Chevy that\’s parked down by the Freewill Baptist Church next to the cotton gin. Then, back up and take a left. Takes you straight to um, once you pass the cows. Yes sir, we are different, to say the least.

We don\’t spook easy, but there are things that strike fear in every single person\’s heart south of the Mason/Dixon line. Tornados being one; a reallllllly big one. Yet there is another and even greater fear, and that is the fear of being snowed in without milk and bread.

Southerners are Weather Wimps.

Let the weather man announce or even hint at the possibility of snow, and Southerners make a mad dash to the local grocery store buying three gallons of milk and five loaves of bread. It doesn\’t have to be local weather happening either. Announcing snow in neighboring states brings on the same knee-jerk reaction. Must get milk. Get bread. Where do you think the phrase, “GOT MILK?” originated.

Not me. My priorities are in order. When I hear that bad weather is approaching, I head straight for the chocolate. I need two things when I get snowed in; coffee and chocolate.

CAFFEINE; the nectar of the Gods. You can have your milk and your bread (Isn\’t that what prisoners are served?) I\’ll be sitting by the fireplace, watching the snow fall, eating chocolate, drinking coffee, and dreaming of Cary Grant.

Sorry, no weather wimps allowed.

Georgia Richardson Author, Speaker, Southern Humorist