I\’m pretty sure I run a half-way house for animals. In fact, I believe there must be a sign out front that says, “Drop off your unwanted canines and felines here. This is the place. Her lips may say NO, but her heart says me casa is su casa.”

Enter the latest…Miss Kitty. Original, yes?

Here\’s the scoop (no pun intended)…Miss Calico Kitty was just “there” one day and I, being the master at having my way, ignored her completely . . . for approximately one hour. Sigh.

My son said, “Mom, you might as well run to the store and buy cat food.” No way, no how. Not me, not this STEEL Magnolia!

However; I figured it couldn\’t hurt to check on her whereabouts. Very nonchalantly, I strolled out the back door. I almost tripped over her.

She meowed…and interpreted it said, “I\’m lonely, hungry, and down and out in Alabama…won\’t you feed me?” Determined to show this cat who is Queen around here, I ignored her once again—after, of course, filling up a bowl with water. I mean, even prisoners get water. Right?

I returned to the house feeling smug. I will NOT have another pet. Not this Queen!

A few minutes later I thought I heard a dog. A DOG? A D-O-G? Dogs eat cats. YIPES!

I ran to the back door and there she sat meowing what I\’m pretty sure was, “So…you give me water and no bread? What do you call this place, Cat Alcatraz?”

1 bag of “Kitty-Poop-King” litter = $5.59
1 huge toilet/plastic box = $4.00
1 bowl with “meow” written all over it = $8.99
1 bag of overpriced tuna-flavored cat food = $4.99

1 feline purring “mommy” curled up in my lap = Priceless

Welcome home, Miss Calico Kitty, Queen…

Georgia Richardson Author, Speaker, Southern Humorist