Before you say it, I\’m not one of those people who hang on to their grown children never cutting the apron strings. Not this independent gal. No sir-ree. As my sons moved out, first the oldest, then the youngest, I kept a stiff upper lip and only cried after I saw their tail-lights disappear down the road. I only called them on Sundays and Wednesdays and a few Saturday mornings around 7:00 am. That was it. I swear it. They cannot prove the other calls were mine. Hey, is it my fault they can\’t afford Caller ID?

Once the nest was empty, I created my own life and carried on with only a smidgen of “grief” showing. I wrote, I stayed up late and ate foods that were bad for me, and changed channels on the TV over and over, simply because I could. I ran around the house without a bra. Ah, the good life.

Righttttt. So much for the first day. The next day, I cried. All day.

I wanted to see my boys racing through the house, grabbing their car keys and heading out the door, stopping just long enough to promise me they\’d be careful, and departing with, “Love you Mom!” I wanted to see dirty clothes laying in places where dirty clothes shouldn\’t be, and a remote control with icky-sticky, unidentifiable stuff on it. I wanted to wake up and hear the tip-toeing down the hallway as they tried to sneak in past a certain midnight curfew.

Silence.

As I sat there on Mother\’s Day with no cards, flowers, or even a phone call, I cried harder. I knew I had gladly given them both my entire life, equally. I knew I would walk through fire and give up my own existence for them. I knew my heart beats were only as strong as their happiness. But I also knew … I needed to know I mattered. But wait. Hadn\’t I always told them if they were happy, my life was complete? I realized that they were truly happy, and suddenly, all was right. The tears dried, and once again my heart was beating for two boys, MY boys. I was–huh? What\’s that noise?

Ding-dong! Ding-dong!

Mom! Mom! You home? We\’re hereeeeee!

Got anything cooked?

Don\’t tell me you are REALLY out of Oreo\’s! Are you sick?

Why are your eyes so red? You been watching Gone with the Wind again?

MOTHER—Rhett leaves, get over it.

Oh, and Happy Mother\’s Day! We love you!

Well………..what do you know? Love given DOES return TWOfold.

Queen JawJaw

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