Can love succeed based on the differences between two people instead of
just what they have in common? Definitely! In fact, the only way we
truly feel loved is through the trust we build knowing that our spouse
or partner loves us for the real person that we are, distinctly
different from them.

You see, no matter how much two people have in common — religion,
politics, race, financial status, whatever — when they enter into a
relationship they soon discover the many ways they are different from
one another. Everyone knows that. But most of us don\’t know what to do
with the differences. We\’re frightened or threatened by them. We use
them to trash each other and battle in endless power struggles. So, we
damage or destroy what might otherwise be very good relationships. That
doesn\’t have to be!

With a simple change in perspective, those very same differences can
become the doorway to the deepest intimacy and the sweetest spiritual
meaning a relationship can offer. You can transform differences into
the catalysts for change, personal growth and ongoing adventure instead
of a recipe for disaster and heartache. Those very same differences can
be like the sand in an oyster — irritating and sometimes very
difficult — but necessary to create the pearl.

You can put the magic of differences into your own love life — or with
your children, friends, or business associates, for that matter — by
keeping in mind that the other person is not you. As obvious as that
sounds, most people unconsciously expect others to be just like them.
We all do

But when you shift your perspective, your partner\’s opinions, feelings
and behaviors can\’t be “wrong” or “ridiculous.” They are just
different. Your partner values his or her ways just as you value yours.
Now, the spiritual richness of your relationship can unfold as you both
become sincerely curious about each other. You no longer assume you
already know what each other means and you don\’t take each other\’s
moods for granted. Instead, if you value your relationship, you must
stay open to learning more about how your partner is, through and
through. Then each of you will become more connected, more present,
awake and alive.

If discovering and defining who you are as individuals and who you are
together is the goal of your relationship, it becomes magical, just
like love is supposed to be. It\’s not tricky magic, entertaining, but
ultimately an illusion. It is real magic, beautiful in its realness and
meaning. It is the magic of differences, and your relationship acts as
the container and catalyst for your evolution in spiritual
understanding, experience, practice and power.

That is what waits in the magic of differences and it can be yours!.

Married psychology team and best-selling authors, Drs. Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski have redefined the future of weddings. From now on brides AND grooms will be co-partners every step along the way. Be sure to read an excerpt from their new book - "The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams." Just go to