Real love and real romance, the kind that lasts a lifetime, that\’s what most people want.

So why does dating have a bad rap? And why do more than half of all marriages end up in divorce?

The answer\’s pretty clear when you look at what most people settle for, or worse yet, put up with.

But, the fact is, there\’s a world of deep spiritual connection, great adventure, and rich unfolding romance . . . all available when you know what you\’re looking for . . . and how to let love lead every day.

In our twenty years of being together (nineteen married) we\’ve conducted an informal survey of couples who obviously have remarkable relationships.

Young and older, they all shared several things in common.

1) The other person was not their type.

2) There wasn\’t instant chemistry.

3) They very often met in a way that was unusual, unpredictable, or at least unexpected.

4) They frequently had significant differences.

These are just a few real life examples:

Religion – Christian and Jewish, Buddhist and Agnostic

Politics – Democrat and Republican, avid campaigner and non-voter

Nationality – German and Japanese, Chinese and Jewish

Age – 16-21 years apart

She\’s Older – 11-20 years beyond his years

She\’s Taller – she\’s 6\’2″ and he\’s 5\’9″

5) One or both people were often in debt or some kind of financial stress.

6) One or both were in the middle of some kind of business or career upheaval . . . or . .

7) Frequently what the other did for a living was initially quite unsettling – one southern princess fell in love with and married a sewer maintenance supervisor, an elegant five-star hotel event booker fell in love with and married a thoroughly tattooed truck driver, and a conservative, home-body father of two fell in love with and married a free-spirited adventurer who travels in her work.

8) Often, one of them was married or not yet divorced when they met.

So, bottom line, some aspects of these outstanding relationships came from beyond what they\’d imagined, beyond their previous ideas and experience of love.

And all of them had the same experience we\’d had.

Whether it took days, weeks or sometimes months, they realized without a doubt that this was the relationship of their lives.

How did they know it was lasting love?

As we did and still do, all of these people experience the challenge of their differences as a profound spiritual teacher, expanding and enhancing their experience of living and loving.

And, just as it remains true for us today, twenty years after meeting, all of these couples remain committed to letting love lead. Wherever love takes them, they follow – heart and soul – knowing that while real life love isn\’t always easy, it is always the finest transformational magician they\’ve ever known.

And the ultimate reward for letting love lead? Deep, joyous appreciation for being together. Every day!


If you\’re not already receiving Judith & Jim\’s tips on “Making the Ordinary Extraordinary” in your relationships . . . just go to:

Married psychology team and best-selling authors, Drs. Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski have redefined the future of weddings. From now on brides AND grooms will be co-partners every step along the way. Be sure to read an excerpt from their new book - "The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams." Just go to