When our precious ones were younger, we were dashing. Now they are still precious, but we aren\’t dashing towards them.

Love, what is it you are dashing towards and what is ok for you to simply sit and ponder?

My empty nester friends, who are single, want to sleep through the day and night of Valentine\’s Day. Married ones long for surprise. All of them remember and love the laced hearts they made with their children, as well as, the pink iced sugar cookies and red construction paper all over the floor.

Change again. Children aren\’t home. Lovers are gone. Marriages need the fire.

No matter what sits in your home, you are there. How about exploring you and love?

  • Write your first name and then let the words flow from there. You might be surprised what shows up. Write for five minutes and don\’t stop for any reason.
  • Bundle up and walk, telling yourself a story about all the things you think people who love you are saying about you. Last week Susan called me to tell me she just loves how I…that is an example of what I mean. Might as well get your exercise and love story in at the same time. Brain power too, by using your imagination.
  • Dance at home. Why not be the fool and blast music, dance around and sing about all that you love in life…including things you love about you!
  • The phone rings and you are holding your breath with excitement…who is it, ok, besides for your sons and daughters telling you how much they appreciate all you do for them…
  • The opposite of I don\’t know what I want to do today, looks like what? What are you doing that is a fun loving day with no judgments about it?
  • Where do you need to change your perceptions, just a little, about what love really is? Is it the little one, the adolescent or the adult who is running your head and heart about love?
  • Predictable can be boring over the years, so what brave little step can you risk that just might enliven you even more?
  • When days are lonely and feeling cold I call on appreciation and compassion for myself.

    Pay attention to the small things that cross my mind, eyes, and heart…that feeds me practicing my intuition. Some I act on and some I wait and simply notice. Isn\’t it fun when you are thinking about someone and the phone rings with them on the other line or you run into them at the market? Recently I had to buy a baby blanket which made no sense. I don\’t like shopping and I never look at baby things. There I was in the store and twice I had to go back and touch a stripped baby blanket. I ended up buying it. Not expensive, I told myself, and for some reason, I have to have this today. Two days later, my friend called to say she is going with friends to adopt a baby boy in two weeks. I am giving her the blanket for her friends. Fun gut reaction that worked out!

    I don\’t think it takes much to feel loving or be loving. I think we over think everything and dwell on it too long. We don\’t remember to stop thinking about one thing and shift to another. We get stuck with hurt, disappointment, envy, uselessness, fatigue, criticism, guilt, anger, and mostly with not being able to let it flow. We cut off our heart flow. Paradoxes are real. We need to shut down and we need to open. That is what a heart does. The question is do we know check in with ourselves to see what we are feeling and thinking and then do we realize we just might not know anything, yet. Both are gems. Both are heartfelt acts….to know ourselves and to not know anything. Paradoxes…contrasts…truths…

    Empty nesters are out of practice with focusing on themselves. Maybe February could be love thyself first and then others. Catch yourself when you are dwelling longer than need be or waiting rather than sparking. Are you boring yourself with your thoughts and actions?

    May love invite you and motivate you to simply be yourself with a touch of newness.

    Natalie

    natalie@emptynestsupport.com
    http://www.emptynestsupport.com/
    Toll free, California time, phone number, 800-466-3310

    Call for a consultation, speaking arrangement, support group, etc.

    Natalie Caine is the founder of Empty Nest Support Services. When her daughter was a senior in high school, she realized that as a soon-to-be “empty nester,” she would be undergoing a major life shift. Not wanting to confront this transition alone nor have her many friends face this abyss without strong support, she created a support services group, which quickly grew into a new career and an exciting full-time business.