Clothes Hound, Bound, and Down…Under
Last week at a party, a boomer woman was going on and on and on and on (insert jealousy) about her trip “Down Under.” That wasn\’t the only thing down under. I came very close to interrupting her with, “Ah, ‘cuse please, but you\’ve dropped a piece of food in your kangaroo pouc—um, I mean belly button.” Her jeans were so far down under her belly button, one could have used her mid-section to advertise. Then again, maybe that\’s what she was doing? Meowwww.
Don\’t believe that seniors have taken to dressing like Ken and Barbie? Then take a trip to any local supermarket and park your own kangaroo self on a boomer bench, and observe. You\’ll see women with jeans so tight they look sprayed on. They\’ll have that Charlie Chan walk going on as they pass by you. It\’s the best they can do. Breathing isn\’t an option. But hey, they look young and hip!
Then there are men wearing short-shorts proudly displaying their bird legs, sagging thighs, and knobby knees. What\’s worse, if you follow them to the parking lot, you\’ll undoubtedly find they\’re driving a bright, shiny red convertible. They actually dropped by the store to get Metamucil, but hey…they look young, right? Rightttt.
I\’ve seen men with t-shirts proudly announcing they\’re looking for a sugar mamma (now there\’s a chick magnet), and women wearing silk, low-cut undergarments on the outside, and to complete the look, the same short-shorts borrowed from their shiny red convertible-driving partner who\’s home drinking shots of Metamucil.
These people truly believe themselves to be posh, fashionable, and with it. I even heard one of them refer to himself as being part of the “in crowd,” and that they are forever cool. If only they would dress appropriately, and cover it up…then they really could call themselves part of the “in” crowd; as…TUCK IT IN.
Trust me when I say that people my age, their age, and their children\’s age, don\’t want to see it. Especially right in amongst the very fruits and veggies we\’re going to buy and eat.
Ew. That can\’t be good for business.
Show of hands here…just as I thought. Grow up people. Quit embarrassing your children. Before you go out in public, cover it up. Don\’t…as we said in the 60s, let it all hang out.