“You\’re getting to be more like your mother every day!” Whenever I do something weird or funny (like talking with total strangers at another table in a restaurant), that\’s what my sister tells me.

Well . . . the other day I caught a look of myself as I passed a store window. OMG – I couldn\’t believe what I was seeing. There I was, wearing a photography vest that had been my mother\’s. It\’s khaki colored with pockets for everything a photographer would need (with a diagram inside each side panel so you know what every pocket is for!). So practical and yet so ugly!

I was also wearing her old sunglasses. You know the kind – big like safety glasses so that you can wear them over your regular glasses and with side wings to block the sun from the side. (Someone told me they\’re called “Florida glasses” because all the old people in Florida wear them.) They block out the glare without being too dark to see in the shade and I gotta tell you – I love them.

Did I look as ridiculous as I always thought my mother looked? Yes! Was I mortified that the woman in the reflection was me? Oddly enough – no. (Would my sister be? That would be a big yes!)

The point is, for about the last 10 years, I rejected the thought of being in any way like my mother because I was convinced that if we were in any way alike, then the horrible dementia she suffered with was my future, too. Now that enough time has passed, however, I\’m starting to realize how alike we are in so many ways (and not just my fashion choices).

For example:

  • She was a social worker working with the elderly in nursing homes
  • We are both nature photographers (and are willing to look ridiculous to get a picture)
  • We both care deeply about saving the planet and all the animals on it
  • We both love to do crafts – especially knitting
  • We\’re both very practical and organized
  • And we both love to talk to strangers – and often do!

So yes, I am getting more like my mother every day. And I have finally decided to embrace it!

PS> I wear sensible shoes too!

© Copyright AgeWiseLiving™ 2010 You can find information about how to talk with your aging loved ones in “The Ultimate Caregiver\’s Success System” by going to www.AgeWiseLiving.com. While there, sign up for Barbara\’s free monthly newsletter. You can also contact Barbara by calling toll-free (877) AGE-WISE. Barbara E. Friesner is the country\’s leading Generational Coach and expert on issues affecting seniors and their families. She is an adjunct professor at Cornell University.

Barbara Friesner is the country's leading Generational Coach and an expert on issues affecting Seniors and their families. She has been interviewed for Advising Boomers magazine, featured on NY1 TV's Focus on Seniors and Coping with Caregiving on wsRadio. She has also been quoted in newspapers and magazines across the country and her articles have been published in the CAPSule, the Children of Aging Parent's newsletter.