There a new kid in town. I mean, why not? I\’m already doling out advice to anyone who gets near me. I\’m already dispensing wisdom at the drop of a hat. So why not make it official; syndicated; nationwide?

Your love life in the toilet? Let me help you flush it out.

Mother-in-law calling and visiting too much? Tell her that you, hubby, and the kids are thinking of downsizing and moving in with her. Oh…and the dog, gerbils, pet snake, etc. She\’ll grow wings and fly.

Kids won\’t take “NO” for an answer about the upcoming “wild” party on Friday night? Let them know you\’re getting a tattoo, belly-ring, dying your hair, and then joining them. You\’ll make it “family night.” (Make sure to take pics of the raw fear on their faces; it\’s priceless!)

Boss denying you that promotion…again? Save the thousand words and drop a few Polaroids on his desk of the Christmas office party last year. Can you say “alimony?” Suddenly, you have a new best friend.

See? See? I\’m made for this.

I told my sons and I THINK they support me in this new endeavor. Although I will say I\’m not sure if they were playing nice when they said, “And just where will you get this advice? Haven\’t you used it all?” Just in case, I let them know I could hang around THEIR homes until I gathered more sage-ness.

Hmmm…isn\’t that odd? No answer at either home. (Insert snicker from one wise mom)