“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” … Winston Churchill How can I be an empty nester? I am young, vibrant, and a mother of adorable children who look up at me to tie their shoes, sit them on the counter to stir the pancake batter, let them pick out their Halloween costume, sit in the auditorium with my video, as they perform in school plays, man the school fair booth, take them to the mall to get a new outfit for the party, cheer at the games, and go to parent conferences. Ok, so that has now become my past. Present... Read More

By Wendy Reid Crisp Editor in chief, GRAND magazine Frank is the only member of our family with health insurance. A two-year-old McNab mix we acquired at the Humane Society, Frank is entering his second month of free medical insurance, part of the adoption package. After this month, we will pay $9 a month to, as the literature says, “protect Frank.” Free or not, Frank had to first be registered. Following instructions from the Humane Society, I called ShelterCare, the insurance company, and gave the young-voiced customer service representative Frank\’s adoption information. The rep... Read More

Empty today. Sad, worried, lonely, achy, anxious, immobile. Let just a little light in through the pain. Change always happens. In the center is the paradox of carrying hope and crying. Grieving is real. We just aren\’t use to paradoxes. Words like, both are true, and this is also how I feel, aren\’t communicated very often. We weren\’t taught to have a range of feelings and to honor all of them as value. All of the feelings build our heart muscles and add wonderment to life. Each experience, if you look back in your life, has added something for you to toss, re-evaluate, honor,... Read More

Fundamental to all life on the planet . . . is the fact that we’re all different from each other. And yet what do most people do when they encounter those differences? They either change themselves “to fit in” or they try to change the other person. Here’s why . . . When you want to change somebody, the truth is you are scared — under threat. You only want things to be the way you want them to be. You want control rather than connection. This is not to say that if someone is bothering you, you shouldn\’t ask for change. Of course you need to speak up and insist on better... Read More

Chances are you never thought you needed to be rescued from romance. In fact, you probably feel you need more romance in your life, not less. The truth is that most hearts are broken in the painful difference between the possibility of real romance, and the insistence on the fantasy of romance — with the real thing taking the loss. Recovering from romantic fantasy is based on your willingness to accept who you and your partner are — without deceit, without drama, without all of the false puffery so many of us put around our images of love, relationship and intimacy. Recovering from romantic... Read More

By Wendy Reid Crisp Editor in chief, GRAND magazine A remote branch of the maternal side of my family recently compiled a genealogy and forwarded the report to my mother and me. The first thing I noticed were the errors: sons with names similar to fathers\’ and grandfathers\’ were confused; multiple marriages were tossed into bizarre salads of names and lineages. The second thing I noticed was that my grandmother was born in 1872. Two of her children, one of whom is my 94-year-old mother, are still living, as are my sisters and I, my sons and my grandsons. The math on this is what drew... Read More

Over and over I am reminded that what gets us through painful times is a friend. We know that, but when we are hurting we isolate. We don\’t pick up the phone and ask a friend for help. We want to be the strong one. So I suggest you make a list of who you feel uplifted around? Who are you yourself with? Who is cheering for your happiness? Most of us play the role of supporter. We feel vulnerable when we reveal ourselves. Surprise is, we become closer to the friend who we speak our pain to. Being vulnerable and even sharing a “secret,” bonds us. Here\’s my take. We are already... Read More

Most people are looking for happiness and long for that true feeling of success, peace and serenity. It\’s what we all strive for in our “fast-paced, get-stuff-done” type of lifestyle. Being happy is a choice you face every day of your life even if you are facing many challenges including divorce. Your life will always be filled with challenges. It is best to accept and admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway! The pursuit of happiness begins with learning to slow down and have fun. Taking just ten minutes a day to take care of you or self care can make a huge difference... Read More

Romantic conflicts are as common as . . . Chores, Money, Sex, In laws, Holidays, Feeling Ignored, Vacations, Disciplining the Children, Enough Time Together, Lack of Listening, Dirty Fighting, The “Right Way” to Do Things, “You Just Don\’t Get It,” and on and on . . . And you\’ve got your own unique trouble spots that make conflicts even more confusing. That\’s why we offer 5 keys to a romantic outcome, when you know how to resolve your conflicts in a way that benefits each of you, and your relationship. 1) You Are Both Right: each of you brings some... Read More

By Patty Friedmann, www.pattyfriedmann.com, for GRAND Magazine I was terrified of giving that speech for a full five months. I\’d have thought that, having spent four years at Smith College, I wouldn\’t have found the place intimidating anymore. But decades of reading alumnae news, full of Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, and far too many wives and daughters of Republican presidents, gave the school a scary cachet. I was going to be the keynote speaker at the summer symposium, and I wanted to be worthy of my diploma. I wrote that speech in my head every morning for five months. ... Read More