Women may have to deal with a number of transitions in their lifetime. Many will be difficult, some will cause stress and others can be downright painful! These difficult periods in our lives are not pleasant and while we are in the midst of them, we may not be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
So how can something so difficult end up being the best thing that ever happens to you?
1. Pain – it wakes you up
I am sure many of you have heard the expression “no pain, no gain” right? Do we ever really grow while our lives are moving along smoothly and easily? Not a chance! There is just no reason to make any changes and we will often carry on our daily lives, blissfully unaware of all the underlying issues and belief systems that govern our every choice and decision.
Then that day comes – we experience devastating emotional pain, and our lives are changed, often forever. Suddenly a shift takes place in our thoughts, our perceptions. What we thought to be true no longer seems to be true and we question our previous beliefs.
And then we move into the next phase…..
2. Growth – it changes you and the way you look at life
Here we reach a point in our lives where we have to make a choice – do we move through the pain, lean into it, feel it and learn from it or do we try to avoid the pain and look for a quick fix, a quick escape?
Many people choose the latter. They just do not want to deal with the pain and look for a fix as soon as they can. A typical example would be when dealing with a painful break up. An old friend of mine used to say, “The quickest way I get over one guy is to sleep with another”. That worked for her for many years until she reached a point where she really needed to stop and deal with the pain. Once she did that, she could delve deeper, find her true authentic self and get off that continuous spiraling circle where she was repeating the same mistake over and over again.
Working through the pain is not easy and not quick, but it is lasting. The insights and epiphanies gained during this growth period will give you a new awareness of the realities of life and eventually lead you to…
3. Fulfillment – personal growth leads to a new and more purposeful life
Once you have dealt with the most painful period of your personal growth, become aware of your deeper issues and insecurities and healed them, your life will tend to have more depth and meaning. When you have successfully dealt with your own pain you will often feel more compassion for others.
The superficial things in life will no longer be satisfying. You may find that you are drawn to new things, a new career, city or hobby. You may feel that you would like to do more for others. Be of greater service. Helping others may give you a greater sense of reward than a new purchase ever did in the past.
My own life changed dramatically once I had dealt with the worst emotional pain I ever experienced. Looking back at my journey of personal growth that started as a result of great pain, I recognize that my life had been empty and shallow. Now, it is filled with joy, depth, purpose, and I thank God for the gift of that devastating pain I had to deal with many years ago!
Look at your transition as an opportunity to create a new life for yourself – a better, more fulfilled life!

As president and founder of the W.I.T. Institute – a one-stop resource for women in transition, Doris helps women to figure out how and where to start when facing a transition. She is a financial planner, certified divorce planner, mediator and author of WAKE UP your life! A woman\’s guide to real personal power.